I hope you are all having a fabulous week. It’s already Thursday and I’ve got some exciting things planned for this weekend… so I’m not complaining!! (Including meeting Victoria’s mom for the first time!!!)
PLUS- Victoria and I have some SUPER exciting news! We are launching a Nourishing Women Community in June!!! It's going to include videos, live Q&As with us, a book club, and more! Sign up here to learn more!
This week has been full of ups.. and mostly ups. But if I’m being completely honest, the past two weeks I’ve been doing some serious contemplating around my priorities and how I want to structure my life.
First, I LOVE my job. Duh. That’s a given. Victoria and I started Nourishing Minds Nutrition out of pure passion and desire to empower women around food, their bodies, and life. It is LITERALLY my dream job and I’m so humbled by it every single day.
But something has been slightly off, and I wasn’t able to pin point it for a while. I knew I loved my job…. so what was it?
Well, this past week when we were hanging out with Georgie and having good, deep conversation- it hit me.
My default mode is - OBSESSIVE PERSONALITY TYPE. But I’ve known this about myself for quite some time. I’m pretty sure my mom was the first person to point it out to me years ago. The biggest and by far most destructive way this has shown up in my life in the past was through an eating disorder- the over preoccupation with food (or lack of) and my body. I’ve been mindful of my obsessive tendencies and I’m growing to be better at honing that characteristic and channeling it for good and to my benefit. But I’ve realized that it was showing up in my life yet again in a way that I didn’t want it to.
I realized that in many ways, I merely transferred my obsessive character to work and to our business. I became obsessed with “the hustle life” over the past two years since the beginning of starting our private practice. And that’s okay! Because I accept that the hustle mentality is often required in order to get s*** done - especially in the life of an entrepreneur! However, it has been slowly wearing at me because of where this hustle mentality stems from- limiting beliefs.
I’ve realized that my hustle mentality and obsessiveness comes from a place of fear. Fear of not amounting up or being enough for everyone. Because of my limiting beliefs, my nature is to over compensate for any perceived deficiencies I might have. My worst fear in life is to disappoint people. I want to avoid that shame and guilt at all cost. Again— same pattern as my eating disorder, but just projected onto something else.
I’ve realized that I don’t genuinely enjoy being super busy. I don’t crave the fast paced lifestyle. Some of my friends THRIVE on having full schedules. I don’t. I crave a slow life. I crave TIME. My motivator (apart from empowering women to be the badasses they were meant to be) is not money. And I say that in a way that acknowledges that money or the desire of money is NOT bad- it is merely energy and a means to opportunity. But I am motivated by time. Time to do things that refuel me, align me, and allow me to express my creative side. I want to paint with Blake at night, make macrame, sew, cook, edit photos, create things and just move and live slowly.
Honestly, this is something I’ve been subconsciously ashamed of for a long time now. And I’m over not owning that truth about myself. For too long I bought into the lie that in order to be successful or worthy I had to be “so busy” all the time.
I’m done with that mentality.
Back to the limiting beliefs- realizing and addressing these has been a journey over the past year and I’m still a work in progress. But I’ve realized that because I’ve been largely acting out of a place of fear, I have set up the structure of my job and my life wrong. Again, I crave time to do the things that refuel me in order to spend my when I a do work aligned and inspired.
So I’m done with making decisions and structuring my life out of fear or a lack of confidence. What’s that going to look like? Well, I have some ideas. And that’s where I’m at right now. This is a transitional period for me as a discover what the potential of acting out of alignment and not fear.
ALIGNMENT OVER FEAR.
OBSESSION ==> PASSION.
Perhaps you can resonate with these words? With the obsessive personality trait? With the acting out of a place of fear and limited beliefs?
I’d love to know what you’ve done to channel this trait for good!